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dtvrivera dtvrivera

Would you have your child take off his scary Halloween mask if his cousin were scared of it?

Assume that you had family (your sister and her husband) from another state fly in to spend Halloween with you. Your relatives brought your little niece along who is 2 years old and will go trick-or-treating with your kids. You just bought your Kindergartener a brand-new, awesome fear-inspiring zombie costume that he loves and is "dying" to wear. But as soon as you set out down the street your niece starts wailing out of fear and a few minutes later her wails turn into screams of terror. Your little one does not understand why his cousin is crying and your sister after finding the source of her fears is now looking at you for action. What do you do? Do you ask your son to take off his beloved mask and parade through the streets in only his suit or will you try to talk to your sister even though you know your niece will not stop crying?
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unwirklich
unwirklich
Marked as Best! October 19, 2009 01:11 AM
I would talk to my sister and the niece. In that case you can usually show them it's only a mask and they calm down.

1. Explain it is a mask, and how Halloween works.
2. Show it is a mask by having your son remove and replace the mask repeatedly.

This is important because if she's afraid of your son, what is she going to do when she gets out there and sees alllll the scary Halloween masks? She needs to understand they are masks for more than just your son.

Hopefully that would do the trick. If not I may just ask my son if he wants to wear his mask or separate from my sister for trick-or-treating. Meeting up to candy compare later is just fine in my book.
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dtvrivera
dtvrivera
October 19, 2009 02:43 AM
Thanks, great idea to use this as an opportunity to provide an explanation about Halloween masks and who is underneath them. May make the whole experience less frightful for a toddler. :)
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gno
gno
October 19, 2009 01:17 AM
I say it's compromise time!

Compromise #1 - A 2 year-old can only do half a dozen houses, maybe a dozen at most. So pull your boy aside and ask him to be like a big brother and skip the mask for the first few houses. And then send the 2 year old home with your sister, and keep on trick-or-treating in full costume with your son.

Compromise #2 - Have them go up to the door at separate times. Tell your son to keep the mask off until he gets to the door. Let the little one go first, and then tell your son it's his turn. If the mask is out of sight, it's out of mind!

One of these is sure to please your sister and keep everyone happy and in the halloween mood.

Happy Halloween!
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dtvrivera
dtvrivera
October 19, 2009 02:42 AM
Love the compromises! Yes, these would seem to potentially work and keep both children happy.
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jillbeth
jillbeth
October 19, 2009 12:15 PM
Absolutely. I've dealt with this recently, as the grandkids were rummaging through the Halloween costume box! My 3yo granddaughter was traumatized by adults who should have known better, they were intentionally scaring her while wearing masks. She is terrified of any mask now, even cute, friendly characters, so I wouldn't allow the other kids to try on the masks while she was here, but just the costumes. (One child decided not to mind me and got herself a tongue lashing for disrespecting both my instructions and her cousin's feelings). At three, I'm sure she's old enough to understand masks aren't real, but under the circumstances she's equating wearing masks with emotional abuse, so we have to respect that. Hopefully, some day she'll grow out of it. I also remember unintentionally scaring a young child while wearing a Frankenstein mask (while trick-or-treating when I was still pretty young myself, the child came to the door with her mother), and how that child reacted. I wouldn't want to be responsible for causing that sort of fear in anyone again.

I agree that the compromises mentioned by previous posters would be appropriate under the circumstances. No one is going to have any fun if the little cousin is wailing all the time!
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