Why wouldn't you? It's not as if that other child is now broken, as long as that other childs assaulter is around

I would continue to encourage my child to play with the child in question. That child was a victim. That child does not deserve to be isolated from society, from friendships, and from normal child activities because he/she did nothing wrong! In fact, I believe that ostracizing a child who has been abused actually reinforces the cycle of abuse rather than defusing it by providing loving, caring examples of what authorities in positions of trust SHOULD be like. In addition, ostracizing that child sends a message that he/she is somehow at fault - it's exactly like blaming a victim of rape for her or his own rape.

Truthfully, the parent in me would want assurances that the person or people who abused this child were no longer a part of his/her life in any capacity before I would allow my child to go play. But that would be between me and the parent(s)/guardian(s) of the abused child. Once I felt assured, I would allow my child to go play at the other child's house.

I would explain to my child, in age-appropriate terms, what happened to his or her friend. It's harsh to have to bring that sort of reality into my child's world, at any age, but it would help protect my child and allow his or her friend someone of similar age to talk with about this, so that it does not become some sort of shameful secret. I would try to be there both for my child and for the other child, to answer questions or just to give them a place to express fears, worries, or anger at the situation.

Perhaps it’s the drama, as much as the situation, that’s causing their concern.

If things are really bad, perhaps it’s time to find a new social circle, school, community or city.

I'd absolutely let my child play with someone who is sexually assaulted. The last thing someone who's been through a traumatic situation like that needs is to be ostracized by his or her peers.

That said, you have to make sure your child isn't going to be bullying or otherwise harassing this person. He or she might not mean it, of course, but even so, there's a potential for harm. Talk to your child and explain what happens and that it doesn't make him or her wrong in any way. If they're at your house, it wouldn't hurt to (discreetly) monitor them, just to make sure.

Initially, I would not want my child to play with the other child unsupervised. Granted, it's not the kid's fault and being a victim does not guarantee that the kid will molest other children. Being an overly cautious parent I'm protective and paranoid of anyone that I'm not very close to personally, being around my daughter unsupervised.

I don't allow my daughter to hang around with any adults or kids unsupervised that I don't know personally, except for school regardless of their history. I'm not comfortable leaving her alone with men period. Just my own issue.

I don't agree with telling my child what happened to the other though. Some things kids don't need to know. It is the responsibility of the parent to have the bad touch conversation with their own children anyway.

Bottom line, yes I would. I would be there and we'd do activities together just like I would with any other kid.

I've actually been through this. When my daughter was 7 years old, she was invited to a birthday party with a group of kids she'd been in Girl Scouts with since she was 5. One of the kids invited was the hostess' next-door-neighbor's daughter, whom she'd been watching every day since she was 3. She knew this little girl had been molested by her grandfather.

The neighbor girl proceeded to go a little beyond "playing doctor" with almost every girl there, even bullying them into not leaving the room. It was "beyond" the normal, just slightly, and enough to really upset all the girls. Finally the bravest one left the room while the perpetrator was in the bathroom and told the hostess, who promptly sent her home. The perp then said it was *my* daughter. The other girls said it was my daughter who resisted her the most.

Did the hostess have any idea this girl, who'd been in her home every day for several years, would do this? No. She viewed her simply as a victim. She really didn't think putting her in a darkened room with them while they watched movies, a room with an empty walk-in closet, was a situation that needed monitoring.

I'm lucky my daughter doesn't have a very good memory. I was really horrified when I learned the specifics. And angered that they actually initially thought my daughter was the one doing it to everyone, until the hostess called other parents. At this point, three years later, she appears not to have many memories of it. Initially after it happened we caught her looking up "s&x" on the internet. We had some long talks about how what happened was not the way it was supposed to be.

In our situation, it never went beyond the group of parents. The girls are still together in Girl Scouts.

So, having been through it, I'd say I would allow my child to still play with the other child--but I'd monitor them very closely. No darkened rooms and definitely no sleepovers.