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Your teenager is careless and does not properly care for their things. Should you replace them right away, or wait to prove a point?
Your teenage son exclaims " I need new sneakers". This is due to negligence and improper care of his existing pair. He has other shoes he can wear so he would not be shoeless. He does not "need" a new pair, but his old ones are now ripped and ill fitting because of how he cared for them. Would you run out to buy a new pair, or make him wait and teach the value of caring for his things?
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3 answerers thought this was unfair.
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March 14, 2010 08:54 PM
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If by miscared you mean he left them out in the yard in the rain or this type of neglegence then he can wait. If you mean he miscared for them by playing or sliding into second base I would replace them. When I was young I played lots of sports and worked in sneakers and ran through them like water.
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March 15, 2010 12:10 AM
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Teenagers are old enough to learn how to care for their possessions, and value how much money is put into each item they own. Kids outgrow shoes pretty quickly, but if the shoes are still the correct size, and the damage is beyond normal wear and tear, I would say he should have to wait for another pair. If every time he trashes something, it gets instantly replaced, where's the incentive to take care of his property and value the cost?
I would say that it's fair to put limits on things: new clothes when school starts and maybe one other time during the year, one backpack per year, a certain number of shoes, etc. Anything above and beyond that, he should be paying for himself. If he wants to destroy or lose his things, he can go to the store with his own money and replace them. He'll probably mature pretty quick.
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I would say that it's fair to put limits on things: new clothes when school starts and maybe one other time during the year, one backpack per year, a certain number of shoes, etc. Anything above and beyond that, he should be paying for himself. If he wants to destroy or lose his things, he can go to the store with his own money and replace them. He'll probably mature pretty quick.
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March 15, 2010 01:43 AM
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I might do one of two things:
If I were going to pay for them, I would make him wait. He can learn to care for his things and he can learn that I'm not there at his beck and call when he does things that cause damage that could have been avoided.
or
If he insisted on having them right away, I would make him pay for them (part or whole depending on my mood). This might make him think twice about doing something to cause damage that makes his shoes unwearable. He is spending his money now and might care for them a bit better. If it happened a second and third time, he would pay for those also. Money is a powerful motivator.
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If I were going to pay for them, I would make him wait. He can learn to care for his things and he can learn that I'm not there at his beck and call when he does things that cause damage that could have been avoided.
or
If he insisted on having them right away, I would make him pay for them (part or whole depending on my mood). This might make him think twice about doing something to cause damage that makes his shoes unwearable. He is spending his money now and might care for them a bit better. If it happened a second and third time, he would pay for those also. Money is a powerful motivator.
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