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What would you do if someone other than you disciplined (spanked) your dog without your advance knowledge or permission?
You take your dog to a friend's house for a day-long play date with three other dogs while you and your friend are both at work. The dogs have three wooded acres to run on safely and an automated (magnetically keyed) doggie door so they can go in and out at will. There is always a source of fresh, cold water both outside and in. It's doggie heaven. The three resident dogs all have keyed collars for the door, your dog does not.
You return at the end of the day to greet your friend and retrieve your pet. You find your dog whimpering and cowering in your friend's presence. You ask what happened and your friend admits to "spanking" the dog for an obedience infraction (not coming when called from the house). What would you do? Would you ever take your dog back to the friend's place on a play date again?
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You return at the end of the day to greet your friend and retrieve your pet. You find your dog whimpering and cowering in your friend's presence. You ask what happened and your friend admits to "spanking" the dog for an obedience infraction (not coming when called from the house). What would you do? Would you ever take your dog back to the friend's place on a play date again?
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October 05, 2009 11:41 PM
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I would not take my dog back there again. You said that the dog was "whimpering and cowering" and that the friend admitted to "spanking" the dog. In order for a dog to act that way a lot more then a spanking must have taken place. That sounds more like a beating!
A "spanking" for not coming when called is inappropriate (in my book). That is definitely not going to make the dog want to come the next time called. I believe he should be rewarded when he does come thus encouraging the desired behavior. It seems the friend was frustrated and took it out on the dog. Thus, the spanking. It does not appear to me that the spanking was for the dogs benefit.
Not only would I not take my dog back, I would share this information with anyone that was considering taking their dog to "doggie heaven"! I call that behavior, abuse.
Disclaimer: I am not a dog trainer. These are my views and I am sticking to them.
A "spanking" for not coming when called is inappropriate (in my book). That is definitely not going to make the dog want to come the next time called. I believe he should be rewarded when he does come thus encouraging the desired behavior. It seems the friend was frustrated and took it out on the dog. Thus, the spanking. It does not appear to me that the spanking was for the dogs benefit.
Not only would I not take my dog back, I would share this information with anyone that was considering taking their dog to "doggie heaven"! I call that behavior, abuse.
Disclaimer: I am not a dog trainer. These are my views and I am sticking to them.
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• Thank you for your answer. You and many others took a lot of time and really thought about your answers, as if it had been your own dog. I found choosing a best answer on this question difficult because several of you were deserving - but I liked how you expressed your feelings.
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October 05, 2009 11:20 PM
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That would be the end of my friendship with that dog owner I think. Anyone who beats a dog is evil in my mind. Dogs are the one animal specifically evolved to be loyal and loving to mankind. To beat a dog in this fashion is cruel.
The only possible exception I could see would be if the dog was attacking another dog or a human.
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The only possible exception I could see would be if the dog was attacking another dog or a human.
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October 05, 2009 11:23 PM
Jason, your dogs are adorable! Thanks for your answer!
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October 05, 2009 11:35 PM
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I think spanking somebody else's dog (under any circumstances) is deplorable and a real breach of trust. This is made even worse though if you never even had the owners permission.
From my experience and from other people i've spoken to, spanking is not a good form of discipline.
Us owners are in an influential Alpha role and any spanking can be interpreted as an act of aggression, this is even more damaging if there is a delay from the event as the dog would be somewhat confused. In the wild an Alpha would never spank but would instead use body language to take power and control, that is what we need to do.
In the event somebody did this with my dog, I would:
> Strongly rebuke the person and inform them this was a breach of trust
> Inform them I would never entrust them with my dog again
> Educate them why spanking a dog is an incorrect form of discipline
I hope this helps.
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From my experience and from other people i've spoken to, spanking is not a good form of discipline.
Us owners are in an influential Alpha role and any spanking can be interpreted as an act of aggression, this is even more damaging if there is a delay from the event as the dog would be somewhat confused. In the wild an Alpha would never spank but would instead use body language to take power and control, that is what we need to do.
In the event somebody did this with my dog, I would:
> Strongly rebuke the person and inform them this was a breach of trust
> Inform them I would never entrust them with my dog again
> Educate them why spanking a dog is an incorrect form of discipline
I hope this helps.
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October 05, 2009 11:47 PM
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"You ask what happened and your friend admits to "spanking" the dog for an obedience infraction (not coming when called from the house)."
First, I would want to know exactly what happened. It sounds like there is a "missing piece" to this puzzle. A dog (well, my dog anyway) rarely comes to a person she does not know when called. She may look up and presumably think "unless you have treats, I ain't commin' for you". Unless someone she knows well calls her, she won't come. This could be a side effect of our training together, but that's the way it is here.
I wouldn't be looking for justification, I would be looking for something that I couldn't imagine. Right now, I can't imagine why anyone would hit my dog. However, I know that sometimes I don't think of everything and there may be a valid reason such as breaking up a fight.
If after my string of questions, I wasn't satisfied that there was a reason (and I doubt that there would be), I certainly would never take my dog there again and I would deeply consider remaining friends at all with the person.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym_b2ucWe0s
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First, I would want to know exactly what happened. It sounds like there is a "missing piece" to this puzzle. A dog (well, my dog anyway) rarely comes to a person she does not know when called. She may look up and presumably think "unless you have treats, I ain't commin' for you". Unless someone she knows well calls her, she won't come. This could be a side effect of our training together, but that's the way it is here.
I wouldn't be looking for justification, I would be looking for something that I couldn't imagine. Right now, I can't imagine why anyone would hit my dog. However, I know that sometimes I don't think of everything and there may be a valid reason such as breaking up a fight.
If after my string of questions, I wasn't satisfied that there was a reason (and I doubt that there would be), I certainly would never take my dog there again and I would deeply consider remaining friends at all with the person.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym_b2ucWe0s
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October 06, 2009 05:29 AM
The story she tells me that he told her was that Jake was inside the house, resting from playing, and since the other dogs have the 'key' to open the doggie door and Jake doesn't, when this guy was going out, he wanted all the dogs to go out with him. He called Jake to get him to go outside and Jake wouldn't come to him to go outside.
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October 05, 2009 11:48 PM
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The dog was probably already apprehensive about being left alone for the day with dogs and people he or she didn't know, so having this happen when they were already concerned about things would be even more damaging.
I would obviously be very upset with my friend, but I would also spend a significant amount of time and effort reassuring my dog that everything was going to be fine, that they are loved, and that this would never happen again.
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I would obviously be very upset with my friend, but I would also spend a significant amount of time and effort reassuring my dog that everything was going to be fine, that they are loved, and that this would never happen again.
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October 06, 2009 05:30 AM
The first couple of times we took him over there, we went with him and sat and stayed with him on the back porch so he could get used to the other dogs and have fun there but still have use around him. He absolutely LOVES going there now. When he sees the place, he literally leaps out of the car and tries to drag me or @windowshopping to the gate to be let in.
So it is a place where he's having fun, but as soon as this man comes home, his whole demeanor seems to change.
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So it is a place where he's having fun, but as soon as this man comes home, his whole demeanor seems to change.
October 06, 2009 12:06 AM
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Permission or not there is no justification. That's like telling a sitter it's ok if they spank your child. Does it make it so? NOT. To inflict pain on any animal or human for any reason other than to prevent them from harming someone or another animal is not ok. End of conversation.
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October 06, 2009 12:07 AM
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Yeah, that's a big no-no in my book. If the dog has a crate or a kennel, that's where to put them if they misbehave. Failing that, I'm not 100% opposed to a slightly more aggressive reaction, such as spraying them in the face with one of those water bottles or raising your voice at them, to get them to quickly STOP the negative behavior.
However, any sort of physical violence or reaction is straight out. If I was not confident that the dog(s) would be completely safe from being struck or smacked while I was gone, there is no way I'd leave them there.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/20671413@N02/3985686226/
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However, any sort of physical violence or reaction is straight out. If I was not confident that the dog(s) would be completely safe from being struck or smacked while I was gone, there is no way I'd leave them there.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/20671413@N02/3985686226/
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October 06, 2009 05:32 AM
Awwww, what a sweetie pie!
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October 06, 2009 12:36 AM
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Beating a dog-- which is what this was-- can never be countenanced. A mild tap on the snout would not have a dog cowering and whimpering hours later, which was why I use the term beating, rather than spanking. I would take my dog to the veterinarian to be examined thoroughly, and depending on the result of the exam, consider reporting the individual who did this to the authorities.
If it were me, the friendship would be over. This is bigger than never trusting that person with my dog again
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If it were me, the friendship would be over. This is bigger than never trusting that person with my dog again
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October 06, 2009 05:33 AM
Yeah, I was torn on that too. Jake takes things hard, but you're right - a pat to get his attention or tap on the rear even a smack on the rear end, probably wouldn't have gotten Jake that upset.
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October 06, 2009 12:57 AM
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If someone said they beat my dog, and were foolish enough to tell me this in the absence of any witnesses, wow, it would suck to be him...
This is my doggie Rambo, we rescued him and he is real sweet and does not want anybody hitting him. He loves living in California and his favorite food is anything people eat.
His favorite activity is rooting through the dirty clothes hamper, grabbing a sock, shaking the sock defiantly in front of my face and running off, which means I have to give chase. He usually hides somewhere with my sock, but his silly giggling gives him away so I find him pretty quick. He'll growl if I don't give him a treat in exchange for my sock..... He's quite a little joker.
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This is my doggie Rambo, we rescued him and he is real sweet and does not want anybody hitting him. He loves living in California and his favorite food is anything people eat.
His favorite activity is rooting through the dirty clothes hamper, grabbing a sock, shaking the sock defiantly in front of my face and running off, which means I have to give chase. He usually hides somewhere with my sock, but his silly giggling gives him away so I find him pretty quick. He'll growl if I don't give him a treat in exchange for my sock..... He's quite a little joker.
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October 06, 2009 04:10 AM
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I have experience with this and unfortunately for the offender I did not like him very much to start. My initial reaction was to give him a taste of his own medicine but I controlled my self and threw him out of my home and have severed all ties with him.
I do not need people who hit children or animals that are not their own (and in most cases if they are their own too). Dogs are a special case because their love is unconditional when we abuse that love and hit them we are teaching them aggression that may maim or kill another human one day.
Besides look at these faces.
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I do not need people who hit children or animals that are not their own (and in most cases if they are their own too). Dogs are a special case because their love is unconditional when we abuse that love and hit them we are teaching them aggression that may maim or kill another human one day.
Besides look at these faces.
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October 06, 2009 05:21 AM
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The person and puppy she's referring to in this post is actually me and Jake! @windowshopping is my best friend, and she introduced me to the man where we take Jake to playdates. Jake LOVED going. He absolutely has a blast, and man, you should see him perk up when we ask if he wants to go play with his doggie friends, and then name the dogs by name. He gets soooo excited!
Because this man is her friend and not mine, I don't take Jake over there... she takes him for me, and usually picks him up.
she didn't say anything to me right away, when she brought him home, because she felt so bad about it.
So when Jake runs in and jumps all over me like he usually does, sooo happy to see me, I raise my hand to pet the side of his face, and he flinches and backs away from me. I have NEVER hit my dog, so I know he's not afraid of me.
When I said, "Jake, what's wrong... come here, boy..." he cowered and whimpered and wouldn't come to me.
I said, "Lynn, he hit my dog...."
I just knew it. She got a little teary-eyed and said, "Yeah. I wasn't sure how to tell you, but he said he got a "spanking" because he wouldn't come." Her friend went on to tell her that I should be training the dog and that someone needs to teach him that he needs to come when he's called.
Well, he does come when *I* call him. He comes when Lynn calls him. Every time. But this is the same man who touched Jake's paws and kept touching them even though Jake kept backing up from him and 'asking' him to stop in his own doggy way. He said we needed to keep touching his paws so he got used to it. I touch his paws all the time. In fact, he frequently climbs up in bed with me and 'hold his hand', so to speak.
Jake is just scared of this man. However, Jake LOVES going over to play. He just doesn't like this man.
So the torn part was - if we think the man's not going to be at home and we get him there early enough and pick him up early enough, do we still take him, or do we just stop taking him and find another place for Jake to play? He loves others dogs... and he loves to run (we have a decent yard, but it's not the same, you know?) He's really well behaved, and so I don't know why this man claims to be having problems with him, except that I think Jake is scared of him. He claims there's problems with potty training, and yet, in the last 7 months or so, there's not had one single 'accident' in our house. Jake is only a little over a year old.
And if we don't take him back or if we do take him back, what do we say to the man about it?
Anyhoo, here's a video of Jake for all to see- he's my baby! Oh, and you can hear my voice too, not that anyone cares...LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-h9Mfv0gvc
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Because this man is her friend and not mine, I don't take Jake over there... she takes him for me, and usually picks him up.
she didn't say anything to me right away, when she brought him home, because she felt so bad about it.
So when Jake runs in and jumps all over me like he usually does, sooo happy to see me, I raise my hand to pet the side of his face, and he flinches and backs away from me. I have NEVER hit my dog, so I know he's not afraid of me.
When I said, "Jake, what's wrong... come here, boy..." he cowered and whimpered and wouldn't come to me.
I said, "Lynn, he hit my dog...."
I just knew it. She got a little teary-eyed and said, "Yeah. I wasn't sure how to tell you, but he said he got a "spanking" because he wouldn't come." Her friend went on to tell her that I should be training the dog and that someone needs to teach him that he needs to come when he's called.
Well, he does come when *I* call him. He comes when Lynn calls him. Every time. But this is the same man who touched Jake's paws and kept touching them even though Jake kept backing up from him and 'asking' him to stop in his own doggy way. He said we needed to keep touching his paws so he got used to it. I touch his paws all the time. In fact, he frequently climbs up in bed with me and 'hold his hand', so to speak.
Jake is just scared of this man. However, Jake LOVES going over to play. He just doesn't like this man.
So the torn part was - if we think the man's not going to be at home and we get him there early enough and pick him up early enough, do we still take him, or do we just stop taking him and find another place for Jake to play? He loves others dogs... and he loves to run (we have a decent yard, but it's not the same, you know?) He's really well behaved, and so I don't know why this man claims to be having problems with him, except that I think Jake is scared of him. He claims there's problems with potty training, and yet, in the last 7 months or so, there's not had one single 'accident' in our house. Jake is only a little over a year old.
And if we don't take him back or if we do take him back, what do we say to the man about it?
Anyhoo, here's a video of Jake for all to see- he's my baby! Oh, and you can hear my voice too, not that anyone cares...LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-h9Mfv0gvc
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October 06, 2009 05:37 AM
Thank you, Michy for solving my conundrum of how much detail to reveal! Jake has been here at my house since late April (he was about 7 months old when he got here and not house-broken yet). I had him housebroken in two days without ever resorting to anything physical. In fact, as Michy said, he responds extremely well to tone of voice and alpha assertion (yes, I AM the Leader of my little pack, here). He's a joy and he makes my heart happy, which was part of why I felt so horrible when the incident described happened.
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October 06, 2009 05:40 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34dpHzPtlAg
Here's another one of Jake jumping at bubbles my son is blowing!
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Here's another one of Jake jumping at bubbles my son is blowing!
October 06, 2009 10:38 AM
I would not under any circumstance ever take my dog back there. A dog who is well adjusted doesn't react the way Jake has without reason. Animals know who they can and can't trust, even when it seems the human has done nothing wrong. It sounds like Jake realized from the start that this man was not an acceptable human. Aside from all of that, it is absolutely inexcusable to hit any animal, let alone another persons pet. Also, he may love playing at that persons house, but the fact that he has a bad association with the owner could cause other issues. For example, he knows that going to doggie heaven means seeing the bad man, and to go to doggie heaven means getting in the car, if he makes that association it won't be long before he believes that car = bad man. As far as how to respond to the man involved I would be completely honest. I would tell him his actions were inappropriate. I would also educate him (as he seems to feel the need to do with you) that a dog that is not used to him will react differently than his own. That not all dogs are comfortable with everyone they meet and he should be respectful of other owners forms of discipline. Tell him that if he finds hitting to be acceptable he might consider informing other guests of his discipline rules because they may not agree with them and they have a right to know what happens to their animals when they aren't around. Personally if it were me i would probably not handle any of this very well, but my dog came with issues and those actions would just destroy him.
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windowshop...
michelleld...
So it's 'possible' it was just a spanking and my baby boy took it hard.... but I don't know. I do know that for about a week after, he flinched every time I or anybody raised their hand near his face, so I'm venturing to guess it was on the face or snout, and not on his rear end.
He has called my friend to invited Jake over again - that's why @windowshopping was asking the question.