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December 21, 2009 09:05 PM
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My daughters father died when she was 5 years old. I had no choice but to tell the truth. She adjusted easier because she had experienced pet death and knew what death was.
rushing out to replace a pet is a misplaced act of kindness, it shelters the child from a reality they will encounter sooner or later. Would you rather their first experience be with a fish, or a human? The child should be encouarged to say good bye to their pet, to see it (unless it wasnt a fish, but a cat, mutilated by a car or some such) and bury it. This allows closure. SImilarly lying to a kid that a pet ran away is wrong.
rushing out to replace a pet is a misplaced act of kindness, it shelters the child from a reality they will encounter sooner or later. Would you rather their first experience be with a fish, or a human? The child should be encouarged to say good bye to their pet, to see it (unless it wasnt a fish, but a cat, mutilated by a car or some such) and bury it. This allows closure. SImilarly lying to a kid that a pet ran away is wrong.
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December 16, 2009 09:22 AM
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I tell my son what happened when he comes home from school. I don't believe in protecting children from death. It's a natural part of life. If you protect a child from the death of a goldfish, how are you going to prepare the child for the death of something more serious, like grandma? I believe teaching children about death at an early age gives them a better understanding of coping with it. Often protected and sheltered children can't cope alone and become co-dependent in the real world.
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December 17, 2009 12:33 AM
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So what happens when great grandmother passes. Do you go out and buy him a new one. Knowing that death is part of life is something we must all face. I venture to guess he still believes in santa clause and the tooth fairy. I think when he finds out the truth he will be sad but it will give you a chance to bond with him as a parient should. How did you deal with the death of your first pet? As adults we forget the knowledge we must share to help our children grow.
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December 17, 2009 08:43 AM
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how old is your child?
in my opinion,i will tell him the trueth~~~
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in my opinion,i will tell him the trueth~~~
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December 18, 2009 02:57 PM
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I don't think the death of a grandmother and the death of a goldfish are quite in the same ballpark. While children will have to at some time be exposed to death, do you want them in hysterics every time a fish dies? Fish life spans can be very very short. So it might really depend on the child. If he or she takes these things very badly, then go buy a new fish. If the child can understand that fish have short life spans and that every living thing isn't going to die that soon (like mom, dad, brother, sister, etc), then go pick out a fish together.
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December 20, 2009 06:18 AM
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Goldfish can live for a very long time. It's usually small containers that aren't really good for them, so they suffer.
Dad sank an old bath into the backyard of a house we used to have, and the water was very dark looking, it was difficult to even see the fish, but they were there and grew to quite a size (five inches or more). when we moved, they were put into a huge glass tank, with clean water... and their health declined. It always seems that when we added a new fish, that two older ones would die. However... Yes, tell the kid. It's hard to see any animal die, more so if it's a faithful dog. I'm 44 and still have grief for dogs that I lost earlier... but would I not have them to avoid grief? no, they bought so much joy and love into my life so I'm extremely grateful for that, even though I miss them so much. Later I experienced the death of my parents and I got cancer, but recovered. Tell them the truth, don't tart it up with stories about God and heaven either, just tell them that it happens and hold them when they're sad, be there for them and remember when it happened to you too and how sad you felt.
Wolfie!
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Dad sank an old bath into the backyard of a house we used to have, and the water was very dark looking, it was difficult to even see the fish, but they were there and grew to quite a size (five inches or more). when we moved, they were put into a huge glass tank, with clean water... and their health declined. It always seems that when we added a new fish, that two older ones would die. However... Yes, tell the kid. It's hard to see any animal die, more so if it's a faithful dog. I'm 44 and still have grief for dogs that I lost earlier... but would I not have them to avoid grief? no, they bought so much joy and love into my life so I'm extremely grateful for that, even though I miss them so much. Later I experienced the death of my parents and I got cancer, but recovered. Tell them the truth, don't tart it up with stories about God and heaven either, just tell them that it happens and hold them when they're sad, be there for them and remember when it happened to you too and how sad you felt.
Wolfie!
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