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Your friend, who has just started a new well-paying job, excitedly tells you that she has purchased several gifts for each of your children.

You weren't even sure if you could afford to exchange gifts in the first place with your friends this year due to your own financial situation. Should you go out of your way to buy a couple of presents for her child as well, or do you tell her that you could not afford any presents and hope she understands?
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jillbeth
jillbeth
Marked as Best! November 30, 2009 09:00 PM
I'd be excited for my friend's opportunities and thank her for her thoughtfulness and generosity toward my children, but if I truly couldn't afford a token gift for her child I'd tell her so and know she'd understand. If her child wondered why I didn't give him/her a gift, it would be a good time for the friend to help her child learn that giving a gift without thought to receiving one in return is a loving and compassionate act.

I'd try to do something nice for the family after the holidays-- a gift of time, maybe offer to host the child on New Year's Eve and have a kids' party so my friend can go out for the evening.
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kty2777
kty2777
November 30, 2009 12:24 AM
If I could afford a little present I'd give one small one for both and explain to my friend I just can't afford much.

If I had absolutely nothing then I would make them a cake or little fairy cakes with their initials on it or something! Make a pot of flowers from cuttings from the garden, something that didn't really cost me anything but I know the thought was there :) so I would hope my friend did too :)

Go out of my way? Maybe a little because my friend has been generous but there is only so much you can do with limited resources ....
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heathersor...
heathersor...
November 30, 2009 01:21 AM
Feel no way and do what you can. Make her cookies if you really need to be 'equal' in the exchange. Let her have her joy of buying what she can as this is her new job money and how she wants to spend it! She knows you do not have the same new job... she will love you for you and if she does not, she's not worth the debt in the first place...
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ai-ai
ai-ai
November 30, 2009 01:52 AM
I'm sure my friend is just so thankful that she has found a new well-paying job and if I were she, I wouldn't ask anything in return. And if she knows that I really have very limited resources then I think she understands that.
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catt969
catt969
December 02, 2009 04:40 PM
Usually we are strapped right around the holidays because of all that we spend on. I have had this type of situation happen to me. I couldn't afford to reciprocate the gifts that my friend gave to my children. What i did instead was to print special invitation to my friends kids to pizza and a movie and a sleep over. I dated the event to happen after Christmas so that I would be able to afford it. I Wrapped it in a small box with a homemade bow. My friend told me that her kids were so excited over my "gift" that they even went home and put it on their calendar.

When that weekend came up, I made sure that they had a wonderful time.
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